


Two

by poppyyki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anniversary, College, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Love, Marriage, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppyyki/pseuds/poppyyki
Summary: After trying for a baby with your husband Koganegawa for two years, you're starting to feel hopeless. Good thing he's there to let you know that you're not alone and you'll get through it together.TW: This fanfiction does talk about miscarriage and a past abortion so if that makes you uncomfortable please keep that in mind.
Relationships: Koganegawa Kanji/Reader, Koganegawa Kanji/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Two

**Author's Note:**

> Hi angels!! This one is more sad than my last one but I still hope y'all enjoy!

_Two years._ Two years is how long you and your husband Kanji have been trying for a baby. Out of your three years of marriage, you've spent the majority of it fighting for something that always ends up failing. You wondered why you kept trying- why you kept putting yourself and your husband through the same pain. You wondered why he always believed there would be a different outcome. You wanted to quit. You wanted to give up and move on. You didn't want to hurt yourself or your husband anymore. After all, this is your fault.

You two have been in an established relationship since high school. Kanji wasn’t the brightest, but he made up for that with his sweet and caring nature. He could always tell when you were not in your usual happy mood. That way, when you were ever down in the dumps, he was there to bring you back up again. So when he confessed his romantic feelings towards you, you just couldn’t say no. You were lovebirds. You made it to every single practice and volleyball game. You congratulated him when he won, and you comforted him when his team had a loss. You were his wings and he was eternally grateful for you.

Kanji and you stayed together in college. Since Kanji was on your university’s volleyball team, it was immensely difficult to find quality time Because of this, you decided to move in together. You settled into a subtle, pricey apartment. You guys were sexually active and both of you did your best to stay safe. But sometimes you guys had your nights.

It was one of those nights. It was your twos anniversary and you both got caught up in the moment. You two moved from the front door to the kitchen. Playing with anything you could put your hands on food, drinks, forks, and spoons. Your little game moved over to the living room where you started a passionate makeout session. Your core was burning and he was in heat. Things escalated and were taken to the bedroom. You both were so caught up in the moment that Kanji never reached for the condom that he placed on the nightstand in case of a situation like this happening. 

You haven’t been getting your period and you’ve been having really bad morning sickness. You didn’t want to believe what you thought it was so you ignored it. Maybe if you just continue like everything was normal it would stop. But Kanji started to notice. He could always tell when you’re sick. He could always tell when you weren’t being yourself- could always tell when you’re hiding something.

He brought it up when you guys were having dinner. You broke down. You couldn’t believe that you kept this from him. He wasn’t angry. He couldn’t be. He understood why you did what you did. You were scared. You were alone. But you’re not anymore. Kanji knew of the situation and he’s going to help you through it. He said that it was your best bet to take a test and check-in with a doctor just to make sure and you automatically agreed.

Those _two lines._ Those two lines shattered your world. Kanji quickly reassured you that it may not be true; you still had to clarify it with a doctor. You were so thankful for Kanji at that moment he kept you grounded. 

The doctor confirmed it. You were indeed pregnant. Six weeks pregnant in fact. You panicked. You didn’t know how you were going to take care of a baby. How would you afford it? How would you have time for a baby, school, and your boyfriend? Would Kanji even want to continue dating you now that you’re pregnant? Would he leave and never look back? 

Kanji rapidly reassured you that he would never leave. He would stay with you no matter what happened and no matter what decision you made. You were glad you have a man like him in your life.

You had to do what was best for the unborn baby inside you.

Kanji and you were already struggling: with your studies, his volleyball career, and having to pay rent and both of your student loans. You had to do it. You would never forgive yourself if you welcomed your child into the world when you weren’t stable. You talked about it with Kanji and he understood and reminded you that no matter what he would support your decision.

You went through the process.

Two years go by and you and Kanji are out of college. You both have steady jobs, you’re living comfortably, and you’re both financially stable. You both do your best to forget about the scare that happened with college. But that speck will forever linger in the back of your minds.

Further down the road, Koganegawa Kanji proposes to you. Of course, you accept his proposal. He supported almost all your life as you did with him. You were his wing and you were his rock.

A year into your marriage, Kanji brought up the conversation on children. Your heart almost stopped. The last time the two of you have ever spoken about children was back in college when you made the life-altering decision. But, you wanted to start a family with him. You wanted to start a family with the man you loved. He was glad and so were you.

At first, you had a hard time getting pregnant. But that didn’t stop Kanji. He knew you could do it so he didn’t stop.

However once you did get pregnant, you didn’t make it full term. By the second trimester, the doctor determined the baby dead. It didn’t even have a chance. You were heartbroken. But Kanji was there. He always comforted you. He always wanted to keep trying. And so did you.

_Next time._ This was a recurring phrase that left Kanji’s mouth. The more he said it, the less you started to believe it.

You couldn’t sleep at night. Memories of your first pregnancy flooded your mind. The rate of your breathing quickened. Your heart was going a hundred beats per minute; it hurts your chest. You couldn’t feel anymore. You are getting sucked into a long, dark pit plummeting deeper and deeper as you try to escape. But you just can’t. You’re lost, alone, and scared. You lost all control of your body.

Kanji held you that night. Whispering sweet nothings and praises into your ear. You let it all out. You confessed how you feel like it’s your fault that you can’t get pregnant. It’s your fault that you’re not allowing you and your husband to start a family. How if you didn’t get the abortion, you would have been pregnant. You would have had more children. Kanji banished those thoughts from you. He wouldn’t allow it. He hated to see you hurting like that. It wasn’t your fault. He knew it wasn’t your fault. You guys just needed to try again. Wait until next time.

_Next time._

It was you and Kanji’s anniversary. Love was flying in the air. There was so much heat and passion that all your problems were a distant memory. No intrusive thoughts about getting pregnant. No intrusive thoughts about being a worthy wife. No intrusive thoughts about your past baby. You were free. You didn’t have sex with him to make a baby, no. This time, you did it because you were so caught with him, not the obligation. You and Kanji made love, and that’s all that mattered.

_This time._

This time, you’re now laying in your hospital bed with your husband. Staring down at your sleeping baby. Your days of hurt are over. Your days of pain are over. Your days of crying yourself to sleep because you feel like you’re not a good enough wife. Feeling like you’re not meant to be a mother. Those days are finally over. You were his wings and he was your rock. You look over at Kanji with tears in your eyes. He's doing his best to hold his tears back. He holds your hand with so much strength but also with so much love. He kisses your miracle baby on the cheek with such fragility as if they were made of glass. He then comes back up and kisses you with uttermost softness on your lips. He leans his forehead against yours and chuckles.

"I knew you could do it."

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh there you go!! I hope y'all liked it. Koganegawa is so sweet yet so underrated. Please leave comments for what you want to see more of or any critiques. :)


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